Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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