It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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