what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
