dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
