so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
