you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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