The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
