I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
