rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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