please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
