So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize