Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
