so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
