If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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