Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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  (414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6
  Replies (17) Good night (4136) Bad night (801)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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  (214): Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love. http://tfl.nu/wggk
  Replies (10) Good night (6193) Bad night (1089)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?

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  (928): whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"? http://tfl.nu/az64
  Replies (37) Good night (4337) Bad night (1196)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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  (301): not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs http://tfl.nu/cui3
  Replies (6) Good night (2673) Bad night (1186)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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  (606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12
  Replies (8) Good night (753) Bad night (2306)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

  (253): View more from Washington

  you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

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  (360): Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone. (253): you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker. http://tfl.nu/ov6f
  Replies (3) Good night (2745) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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  (407): SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE http://tfl.nu/zlef
  Replies (8) Good night (2186) Bad night (707)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?

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  (720): The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer? http://tfl.nu/dm5m
  Replies (8) Good night (624) Bad night (885)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."

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  (214): I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum." http://tfl.nu/4ufr
  Replies (21) Good night (901) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover

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  (614): It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover http://tfl.nu/1h1b
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

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  (760): Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application. http://tfl.nu/49rg
  Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

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  (+61): I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows." http://tfl.nu/omr4
  Replies (4) Good night (1481) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

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  (202): As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point. http://tfl.nu/0upo
  Replies (2) Good night (1121) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?

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  (734): Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join? http://tfl.nu/rgcj
  Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.

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  (406): Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild. http://tfl.nu/8j4i
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (542)

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