forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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