Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

  (1-916): View more from California

  High five!

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  (916): Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?" (1-916): High five! http://tfl.nu/3w1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2673) Bad night (544)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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  (339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs
  Replies (40) Good night (616) Bad night (2641)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the day after is always just damage control

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  (208): the day after is always just damage control http://tfl.nu/ugvq
  Replies (6) Good night (1158) Bad night (2816)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (8039) Bad night (1253)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

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  (813): so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw http://tfl.nu/9zj1
  Replies (32) Good night (8338) Bad night (1093)
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  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

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  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
  Replies (18) Good night (5161) Bad night (1045)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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  (217): he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate http://tfl.nu/55wo
  Replies (14) Good night (950) Bad night (2532)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.

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  (386): I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green. http://tfl.nu/e68o
  Replies (13) Good night (4272) Bad night (939)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.

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  (778): She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/0zw1
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (728)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming

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  (419): Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming http://tfl.nu/qxd7
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (1262)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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  (208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (854)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?

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  (412): he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question? http://tfl.nu/r5st
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (410)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out

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  (941): And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out http://tfl.nu/m8h7
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (326)
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  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (628)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says

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  (616): At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says http://tfl.nu/w0mx
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (267)

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