Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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  (206): It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts. http://tfl.nu/etp3
  Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (1068)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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  (706): Her name starts with A and ends with whore. http://tfl.nu/o8d5
  Replies (12) Good night (1665) Bad night (3659)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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  (414): I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america... http://tfl.nu/w5je
  Replies (7) Good night (1097) Bad night (3356)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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  (603): got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes" http://tfl.nu/m7wu
  Replies (13) Good night (7795) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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  (308): i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj . http://tfl.nu/vtaw
  Replies (17) Good night (8320) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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  (224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1
  Replies (33) Good night (13106) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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  (661): the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero http://tfl.nu/o327
  Replies (6) Good night (3090) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  We can grow old together and our livers can fail together

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  (607): We can grow old together and our livers can fail together http://tfl.nu/ku07
  Replies (9) Good night (4508) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.

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  (512): i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me. http://tfl.nu/wgh1
  Replies (11) Good night (2164) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.

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  (314): I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts. http://tfl.nu/af4a
  Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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  (575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf
  Replies (10) Good night (1789) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.

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  (202): 90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here. http://tfl.nu/6qce
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Stop touching yourself.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???

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  (608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera??? http://tfl.nu/6vj4
  Replies (11) Good night (1196) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?

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  (305): Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention? http://tfl.nu/3cqf
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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  (740): See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want http://tfl.nu/eckw
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (235)

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