Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

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(714): First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance? http://tfl.nu/zhuo

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.

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(203): Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes. http://tfl.nu/d0yb

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(310): View more from California

Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

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(310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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(832): She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face http://tfl.nu/40gf

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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(401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl

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(763): View more from Minnesota

The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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(763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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(928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(909): He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me. http://tfl.nu/a0xa

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(909): View more from California

He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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(909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere. http://tfl.nu/wyhi

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY

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(919): Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY http://tfl.nu/1b9m

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(214): View more from Texas

IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA

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(214): IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA http://tfl.nu/ecmd

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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.

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(406): Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me. http://tfl.nu/igpq

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!

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(843): Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics! http://tfl.nu/lxnu

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.

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(605): Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised. http://tfl.nu/r6ni

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.

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(+44): Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull. http://tfl.nu/b17w

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