So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he shaved USA in his pubs
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...