the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
