Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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