Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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