and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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