Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
