I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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