he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
