party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
