Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
