You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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