If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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