It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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