windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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