I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When did angry sex become our thing?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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