i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
