no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
