Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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