Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
