Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
