I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
