Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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