I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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