That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
