she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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