whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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