omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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