I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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