I CAN MOONWALK!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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