I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
where are my eyebrows?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
