What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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