Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
