the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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