What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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