She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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