i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
