I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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