did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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