what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
