Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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