Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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