is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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