Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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