So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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