They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
