So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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