VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
