ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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