Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
