You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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