Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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