At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
