I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
