it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
