Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
