Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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